I have been having a difficult time sleeping. Several nights I’ve gotten up at 4am and had a difficult time returning to sleep. Being away from home for an extended period of time offers new experiences and places us outside of our comfort zone. We are able to reflect on our lives and patterns from afar and recognize the good, bad, and other. In addition, comparing and contrasting the values of the Zambians relative to my own helps me to affirm what humans believe to be important: e.g. persistence, family, and faith.
I feel simultaneously homesick right now, and also fearful to return home. On one hand I miss the luxuries of the developed world, such as readily available food, TV, privacy, and control of my time. For each of us on the trip, our “I miss” list would probably be different, but the feelings are likely similar.
On the other hand, I am fearful because I wonder if I will use what I’ve learned on this trip once I return to Seattle. In my own life, I find that I am not growing in the areas which I have seen most important to Zambians; in particular family and faith. I think our kids have a unique opportunity to implement changes in their lives. As we get older, our life “inertia” makes large changes harder to enact. As we get closer to the end of the trip, I hope that we will support each other in thinking about changes we can make in our own lives to improve ourselves as people. In the meantime, I will continue to work hard to live in the moment and experience the “now” rather than thinking too much about home :)
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